寻找真我

幸福快乐之道

前洛杉矶市长 Dick Riordan常常说:“你四十岁之前不必对事情太认真。”

好吧,这个星期,我41岁了,所以请拭目以待。

就像今天朋友们在电话中对我的生日祝福一样,我今天要在博客上探讨的题目也和幸福愉悦有关。可能因为我的英文名字是Joy,我一直喜欢探寻幸福的秘诀。而我的这个博客也是关于怎样愉悦地成功的。以后我还会探讨更多关于幸福快乐的话题,但是现在,我先来整体回顾一下这个话题。

快乐的魔力

快乐似乎有魔力。科学研究显示,快乐使人长寿、健康、精力充沛并表现出色。研究还发现,快乐的人比不快乐的人要多活九年。这个发现意义重大,特别是考虑到人因为吸烟而缩短的寿命也就三到六年。

快乐是可测量的

神经学家认为,快乐不是空泛的概念或情绪,而是真实可触的。现在科学家们真的可以测算出快乐的程度来了。伊利诺伊大学教授 Ed Diener说,快乐的研究是基于一个简单直接的理论,也就是直接问人们关于他们生活的问题,这些问题往往能得到可信的答案。这是一个难以置信的发现:只要问几个问题,我们就能测量快乐的程度,就像经济学家测量贫穷或经济增长一样。

你能在这里做他的快乐测试。

快乐的三个组成部分

研究者称快乐由以下几个重要部分组成:

  1. 家人和朋友:你和家人和朋友的关系越深越好。事实上,友情能帮助你对抗病菌。我们的大脑控制着导致疾病的机能,就像压力能导致生病一样,友情和快乐却能保护我们。事实上,友情给人带来的幸福感比金钱更大。
  2. 生活的意义:包括对某件事物的信仰,包括宗教信仰,精神信仰或生活哲学。
  3. 基于长远价值观而设立目标,你为之努力并乐在其中:心理学家说我们需要通过设立目标来寻求满足感,这个目标是让我们乐于去做的,并能充分发挥我们长处和能力的。

你能增强自己的幸福感

根据快乐研究学之父,宾夕法尼亚大学教授 Martin Seligman的观点,只要我们肯下功夫我们就能提升自己的幸福指数。Seligman教授教积极心理学课程的时候,他让他的学生记录感恩日记,每天晚上记录下要感激的人和事。教授认为,整个学期最重要的一刻是“感激之夜”,那天晚上他让他的每个学生给最重要的人写一封信,并大声朗读出来。

Seligman教授在这晚也做他的祝福和祈祷。“我已经上瘾了,”他说。

我之前写过一篇关于感恩的文章,教大家怎样通过记录感恩日记来增加幸福感,可以点击这里查看。

快乐幸福的感觉会随年龄的增加而增强

研究者还发现年纪大的人比年轻的人更快乐。芝加哥大学的华裔教授Yang Yang研究了五万个美国人后发现,年纪大的人更快乐,不是因为他们从小被教育要知足,他们也并不是一直如此开心,而是年纪越大越让他们感到知足。

Yang教授相信,这是因为随着年龄的增加,一些好的社会特征也在加强,例如自我认知和自尊心都在增加,而这些也是成熟的体现,这种成熟有助于增加安乐感。

至于我,在过去的五年里,我觉得自己的幸福感越来越强。和研究一致,我在38岁时获得的那份婚姻,的确增加了我的幸福感。

(当然我的婚礼也给我的父母带来了莫大的幸福,同时他们也总算是松一口气了! 这种幸福你们可以从照片里我母亲的脸上看到,和她跳舞的那位男士是我丈夫Dave的父亲。)

当然,也许我的幸福快乐也源于一个简单的事实,那就是我变老了。

Discussion

12 Responses to “幸福快乐之道”

  1. Happy Birthday, Joy! 四十而不惑!
    I enjoy reading your blogs and wisdoms.

    Posted by 老王 | 2010-07-31, 04:47
  2. 四十而不惑 – perfect – thank you for teaching me this new idiom, 王老师! Joy

    Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-07-31, 05:51
  3. Hi Joy! I have been reading your blog for a little while now .. I am really intrigued by this particular entry. About happiness with marriage – is that really scientifically proven? I would like to see the link to that 🙂

    Posted by lcy | 2010-07-31, 13:07
  4. 還有, 我聽說過一句話:
    人在這個世界上, 如果有追求, 就不會心平氣。

    你的看法呢?

    Posted by lcy | 2010-07-31, 13:10
  5. Great article. Now I feel more happy because of all the friends I have.

    Joy, I have a suggestion for your blog. If you could put the facebook (or others} share button. Then people can pass your articles around and more people will see it.

    Chao

    Posted by Chao Jiang | 2010-08-02, 14:10
    • Chao, thank you for your suggestion! There’s a Facebook “share” link on the English side blog. And I’d really like to have a “Share” link to Facebook, RenRen, Sina, Kaixin, etc., but am having trouble finding the right WordPress plug-in for that. If you know how to do this, kindly drop me an email. Meanwhile, I appreciate your sharing the links to this blog with your friends from within Facebook. Thank you again! Joy

      Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-08-02, 22:30
  6. Happy Birthday. Joy.
    今年我也41岁了,与过去的我相比,觉得自己比任何阶段更清楚自己要什么, 更容易满足, 过去很多的经历让自己变得更坚强,更独立.身为女性,应该为这一年的到来而欢呼.当然我们再保养,也躲不过岁月在我们身上留下的痕迹,BUT WHO CARE…这个时期的女性应该活得更自在,更快乐,更精彩,更完整才对!你说呢?

    Posted by Ellen Chen | 2010-08-02, 17:09
    • Ellen, I love your attitude! Agree with you completely. I often reassure our younger brothers and sisters that indeed, it all gets better as the years go by. As women particularly, we only become more powerful and more beautiful. Happy 41 ! Joy

      Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-08-02, 17:30
  7. Happy Birthday to you, Joy:)

    Fof Icy’s second question, I think she means that people will not be easily satisfied if they still have dreams to pursue. Well, in my opinion, everybody may have desire and want to do things better, but that’s not a reason why we could not enjoy our lives or satisfied with what we have now.

    We could have dreams to pursue, and in this process, we could enjoy every little success and may do summaries about these steps, so that we will improve ourselves step by step.

    I love having happy feelings and attitude toward life, and I have read an article, which may perfectly describe this attitude: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4aa97e1c01000bhs.html. I love this article!

    Wish you all the best with your family:) Happy Life~

    Posted by MyCelestial | 2010-08-02, 13:49
    • Thank you for helping me understand Icy’s question, and for your beautiful response, and for sending this link! I agree it is perfect, and reading it starts my day off right. I agree with you entirely, that we should pursue our high ambitions, but along the way we should be happy and grateful for what we have. I especially like your idea of providing summaries of these steps, and perhaps my old blog on this will be helpful as well: http://www.globalrencai.com/heres-the-secret-to-happiness/. Best, Joy

      Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-08-02, 14:03
  8. Happy Birthday Joy….

    Posted by Kitty | 2010-08-03, 05:02

Post a Comment