我的父亲既是一个好丈夫也是一个好男人。他利用业余时间，建立了一个非赢利机构。通过这个机构他帮助了成百上千的华人移民家庭在美国扎根、开始新的生活。
但是，他的职业生涯却在30年间没有任何起色，他在初级工程师的职位上停滞不前。他是单位最努力的一个，每天早起晚归，还经常在晚上和周末加班。每每出差，他的同事们都会要求住四、五星级酒店，而他却选择三星级酒店，目的是为公司省钱。除了工作态度，父亲作为麻省理工学院的工程硕士，其个人实力也不在话下。
是什么让他一直止步不前，没能成为单位的中层管理者呢？
记得在我12、3 岁时的某个晚上，我父亲告诉我说：“今晚我们公司有年度圣诞派对。”
我非常惊讶地问他：“你为什么不去参加派对呢？”
他回答说：“因为我不知道在那种场合该和周围的人说些什么。”
我当时的感觉就像是被闪电击中了一样。我终于明白父亲为什么在事业上没能获得他应得的地位。原因就在于他没有意识到和同事之间的关系和沟通是多么重要。
那件事在我童年时期留下了最深刻的印记。从那时起我就下定决心要去多学习，多了解这个社会，搞清楚我到底需要怎样做才能够成功。
这段心路历程一直激励我融入美国社会，跻身政界。
现在的我作为大公司的“猎头”, 依然发现有许多优秀的中国学生，进入到我客户的公司工作后，一直处在初级职位上。他们以前是“书虫”， 而现在是“工蜂”，但是却始终无法破茧而出蜕变成美丽的蝴蝶。看到他们努力工作却得不到赏识，我又想起我父亲的职业生涯。于是我开设这个博客，希望能够帮助你从工蜂蜕变成董事长。希望通过此博客为培养全球华人的下一代才俊做出贡献。
你说的很对。越早知道这些道理越少走黑路。
Posted by Edison Hou | 2010-05-06, 22:48Thanks Edison for being here. “See” you around here more.
Posted by Joy | 2010-05-07, 01:33获益匪浅，超级同意
Posted by xieming | 2010-05-07, 21:58Hello my fellow blogger Xieming!
Posted by Joy | 2010-05-08, 00:01获益匪浅，超级同意，希望陈总发表多一些这样的文章。
Posted by jack su | 2010-05-08, 09:41Well. that’s the point. sometimes, I just feel i can’t be a part of this society. coz I don’t know how to make a conversation with them, even a small talk..
Posted by Kitty | 2010-05-11, 03:59Dear Kitty: There are many people who feel as you do. I blogged about that feeling and my father here, and received many emotional emails in response to it. I hope that this blog provides some comfort and advice to you and others. Take care, Joy
Posted by Joy | 2010-05-11, 04:53毕竟成长的文化以及环境不同，在美国和在国内的人际交往总会有比较大的差别。也有很多人，并没有太多的学识，然而却取得了很多学识深厚的人所达不到的成就。
我想，就如你说的，人需要良好的社会关系。但是，从另一方面说，很多人需要从性格上做出较大的调整或许才能真正融入这个“社会”。
Posted by Green L | 2010-07-19, 11:40说的很有道理。只埋头干活而不注重拓展人际关系的话，可能会成为一个优秀的“技工”，但是无法走上更高的舞台，成为一位优秀的“领袖”。
Posted by MyCelestial | 2010-07-20, 02:14Absolutely right! Totally agree!
Posted by Susan | 2010-07-22, 09:13Joy。这篇文章也让我想起我的父亲。他常常为问我：“你觉得爸爸是不是一个很伟大的爸爸。”我觉得他是。他虽然只有高中学历。但他给我幸福安定的生活，供我在USC读书，教我如何跟人交往，让我在能帮助别人的时候帮助别人，警示我不要以任何形式伤害身边的任何人。他给我很多启发，就像您父亲给您的启发一样。祝福你的家人：）
Posted by 张孟 meng zhang | 2010-08-01, 13:56Thanks, Meng Zhang, and same as well to your family!
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-08-02, 00:57很受益！一定推荐给朋友看看！
Posted by 骆贝贝 | 2010-10-02, 15:44Thanks Lucia! -and welcome to our community!
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-10-03, 08:12I have learned a lot from you, thank you, now I am becoming a manager from a technicist, I will always come here to learn more, to talk more.
Posted by Alex Soon | 2010-11-30, 09:59Congrats, Alex, on moving up in the world into management! I’m glad to know that I’m helpful to your journey.
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-11-30, 12:35我是一位高中生的父亲，很高兴今天能够和您在这里相识，这里会帮助我和我的孩子共同探讨，并为他打下一个良好的品质基础！感谢您！祝好！！
Posted by 高歌 | 2010-12-09, 10:48How wonderful for you as a father to prepare your children not only for school but also for their careers! I am happy that my blog may be useful to their training. Joy
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2010-12-09, 10:50I am the one like your mentioned in this post. I want some changes but dont know how.
Posted by xpeng | 2011-04-15, 10:24XPeng: This blog is written for you. I hope you find it helpful.
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2011-04-15, 10:46您说的真是太对了！确实要有意识的拓宽自己的人际圈，我总是以自己有点内向作为少与别人接触的理由，这真的只是一个借口！
Posted by Tribbie | 2011-05-25, 01:03我经常尽力的让自己外向.. 但是除了在party里酒精的作用下..能很畅快的跟周围的美国学生打闹（酒醉的状态下大家表达能力就基本一样） 平时语言的确是个很大的障碍..别人跟我开玩笑 我一时很难把我想表达的意思用英文顺利的表达出来.. 偶尔场面就会小小僵.. ..诶 也不知道应该怎么样才能改善这种状况..
Posted by Misha | 2011-06-01, 16:09joy姐姐，向你崇高的梦想致敬！不再称呼＂您＂，因为希望能和你成为朋友，但我对你的敬重没有改变。博客真的是让人了解你的一个渠道！
Posted by bamboo | 2011-09-02, 22:28Bamboo你好：谢谢！我很高兴我的博文能给你带来帮助。
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2011-09-04, 09:51Hi Joy, My name is An and I’m a junior economics major at Macalester College. I strongly agree with you. Communications and exposure play a big role in determining who can climb up the ladder. To elaborate on this topic, do you have any concrete advice/tips on how to build a good relationship with American colleagues? I found it hard to make small talks since we share few interests. Thanks!
Posted by An | 2011-11-12, 13:53Hi An:谢谢你的留言；你的问题很典型，是许多中国学生的共同问题，我在这方面提过一些建议和想法，在之前的博文中都有涉及，比方说《闲聊最难》，《善解人意是快乐成功的关键》、《给全球华人的备忘：你的情绪很重要》，欢迎阅读参考；查看往期博文的目录，可以点击这里：http://www.globalrencai.com/global-rencai-blog-index/
感谢你的留言，希望你能在这里找到需要的东西。
Posted by 陈愉 Joy Chen | 2011-11-13, 16:39You are right. I am learning how to communicate with different person very well, and enjoying this communication now. But when I was student and new collage graduated, I was so shame, and communicated with person un-confidently and un-comfortablely. Communication is most important for us, whatever we are a student or working people.
Posted by Rachel Liu | 2012-08-23, 07:50Thanks Joy, I cannot agree with you more on the significance of communication, without which one can only become a good technician at utmost. For the ones who intend to step into the management level, to deal with others is a necessity.
Posted by Jenny | 2012-08-31, 03:03很同意.我爸爸也是这样的人.不过这可能也是我现在很喜欢和人打交道的原因,为了不变成我爸爸那样.
Posted by 3104s | 2013-09-02, 08:31您好 陈老师
Posted by gentle | 2014-08-18, 03:28